11 Comments
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Michal Nortness's avatar

good timing. thanks, Sarah!

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Sarah Chauncey's avatar

I'm glad the timing was good, and I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Shame is so painful, but almost always it isn't a present-day emotion. Be gentle with yourself.

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Lisa Cooper Ellison's avatar

Thank you for writing this, Sarah! First, I'm so impressed that you got to spend time with Dr. Pendergrast. How cool! Also, I'm impressed by how you did during that training. I attended one similar to what you described, and it was INTENSE. I was exhausted for days afterward. I also experienced a shame hangover after sharing so much. I love how you handled yours. Those concrete steps are so useful.

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Sarah Chauncey's avatar

Thank you so much, Lisa 🙏🏻 It was intense (and he is SO lovely. Just pure embodied presence.) It helps me to hear that you felt exhausted and the “hangover” for days, too ❤️ (and thank you for sharing this!)

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Chrystle Fiedler's avatar

Hi Sarah! I'm glad that you had such a good experience and that you are feeling better after self-care. I really like this:

Finally, I remembered what I said at the end of the workshop: “If I can trust life enough to take care of me when everything fell apart, and to move to a different city without knowing why, surely I can trust it to bring the right people into my life.”

I really admire your approach to life. For me, it's always a choice between faith and fear. I'm trying to stay in faith although it's not always easy. Moving on Saturday. If you can do it, so can I!

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Sarah Chauncey's avatar

Thanks, Chrystle! Congratulations on the move! I know that’s been on your radar for a while. Moving is a huge undertaking; give yourself lots of space and compassion and restorative time ❤️

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Chrystle Fiedler's avatar

Thanks Sarah - that's a really good reminder. It's just across town in St. Augustine but still lots to do! Glad we're in touch - Chrystle

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Kate Feiffer's avatar

I applaud your ability to be vulnerable in print and write about this topic so honestly - really powerful, moving, and beautiful Sarah - not to mention helpful.

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Sarah Chauncey's avatar

Thank you so much, Kate. That means a lot to me. I had a section about how it's so much easier to be vulnerable in writing when I can't see readers' real-time reactions... but I cut it for length. I still feel vulnerable when I send newsletters, but I'm far more confident expressing myself clearly in writing than verbally. Also, I can edit before I hit send!

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Ann Price's avatar

I sincerely hope I'm one of the "right people" in your life!

It seems writing a memoir is the ultimate act of opening up. I've often thought about how vulnerable a situation an author puts themselves in. Not sure how I might cope with that.

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Sarah Chauncey's avatar

You are! And yes, memoir is the ultimate in vulnerability (and IMO, you handled it really well in your manuscript). That aspect is something I think many memoirists (who aren't career writers) don't consider--and it's one of the reasons I never pursued publication for mine. Do you follow Lisa Cooper Ellison? She writes beautiful posts (& has an awesome podcast) that touch on this.

Btw, I kept hoping I'd meet someone who said they worked for RMB :) (Not yet...)

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